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f The Ad Reads ..............It Really Means
Rough condition :  Too bad to lie about
Parts car :  Beyond repair
Immaculate :  Just recently washed
Concourse :  Waxed very recently
Good transportation :  It's too ugly
Engine quiet :  Uses 90-weight oil
Needs minor overhaul :  Needs engine
Needs major overhaul :  Phone the junkyard
Burns no oil :  It all leaks out !!
Rebuilt engine :  Cleaned the spark plugs
Engine blueprinted :  I don't know what it means either
Excellent gas mileage :  It's slow
One owner :   Can't give it away
Sure to appreciate :  That's why I'm selling it
Drive it anywhere :  But within 10 miles
Desirable classic :  That's why no one wants it
Rare classic :  No one wanted it even when it was new.
Ran when stored :  Now it won't start
Never apart :  Bolts too rounded to loosen
Solid as a rock :  It is all rusted
Restored, with 0 miles :  Won't start
Restored, with 2 miles :  Won't stay running
Older restoration :  First owner washed it
Good investment :  Can't be worth much less
No time to restore it :  Can't obtain parts
90% complete :  You do the other 90%
95% complete :  Other 5% doesn't exist
One owner :  Hertz
Good tires :  And that is all
Other interests conflict :  Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that
 #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"

 

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